Days that make you dream for the future.

Certain days really bring home the message that I am living in a busy time of life. A time filled with demanding young kids that are not yet able to realize their ungrateful nature (hello Mr. 2.5!). The other day PapaBird had all day commitments with work leaving me to scramble to do the morning drop offs and be home before daycare closed. Of course it also coincided with a call from the school board saying our bus was 30 minutes late and the worst traffic I've experienced coming home due to some recent snow fall.

I found out two minutes before our regular bus time that the transportation board had sent out the wrong bus number and our bus driver was only 2 minutes late. Cue the mad scramble to get 3 kids out the door in less than 3 minutes! I must say I was really proud of everyone! They all did it without complaint and relatively quickly. No small feat when everyone is 8 or under!

My day at work was good, though the work is definitely starting to pile up. At least there is an understanding of what one can actually accomplish and high level priorities are relatively easy to establish. The rest will be able to wait or to be shared. So far this has helped keep the stress levels at a reasonable level.

The hardest part of the day, that threw me to the dream of being retired was the slow tedious drive home. Fortunately it's definitely a rarity, but my normal 30 minute commute took 55, making me 10 minutes after our day home officially closed. Then of course because everyone was now starving the screaming and temper tantrums were cued. As PapaBird wasn't coming home tonight I lacked my normal tag team ability, or at least a distraction and temporary peace from the incessant screaming of  2 year old.

Once food was in the three of them, peace settled, but I was done. Normally we avoid screen time on weeknights, but Mama's nerves called for an exception. After the arranged deal of everyone into pjs, because I'm not adding that fight to my day when they get a little tired, we settled in to watch "Back in time for Dinner".

Credit CBC television, https://www.cbc.ca/life/backintimefordinner

Sidebar: if you are looking for an interesting show to watch with the family this one is fun and educational. It makes a family live the middle class lifestyle of each decade from the 1940s to 1990s and focuses on the food they made, gender roles in the home and the evolution and what teenagers did for fun. 

PapaBird got home as it was nearing bedtime and I was so relieved. Even a single evening alone is always a good reminder of how much we appreciate each other and how I'm so grateful I am for him. 

I just feel so drained after dealing with screaming kids for almost an hour. My main battle is I feel so much better about myself if I have accomplished the things I've set out to do. At the moment I'm wanting to get through my sewing plan list. Mainly so I have some proof for my time. However after an evening like that all I had the energy for was a bath. It is exhausting. I'm thankful most nights are not like that, but it does make me long for having my days to myself or the kids being less demanding in the evenings. It is coming. Already my older two do their own thing and leave me to cook. Days like this feel like survival and it's a hard pill to swallow when the random stranger at the store will tell you to enjoy every minute while they're young. I think they forget how hard some of those moments are. How it's so easy to lose ourselves in them. How the only way to get through those days is longing for the future. Well that's what I have to do anyways and I'm ok with it and refuse to feel guilty about it.