Covid Life Crisis

I feel like I'm at the start of a Covid Life Crisis. It's likely just the anxiety around feeling like I've made the worst bet in sending my kids back to school. Have I risked their long term health with unknown future complications so I can continue to work? 

Our provincial government is doing very little to ensure the safety of kids in the schools. To date they have only provided 2 masks and hand sanitizer. Both of which have yet to arrive as the first week of school finishes. We are fortunate in that the school my kids go to is small, both kids have classes around 20. Many classes here are facing 30-40 students which is greatly above the capacity allowed for 2 m distancing. 

Today I have my first day off with no one home. I initially felt bliss to have a quiet house. Excitement to get some things done. Now it's anxiety or guilt, or some combo of the two. I don't know. I'm starting to question aspects of life that before seemed certain. Is this what I want to do? Do I want to stick to my previous plan of saving and retiring in 2-3 years? Do I want to accelerate that?Do I want to move to slow FI? How can I do more meaningful work? How can I make a difference? How can I get more flexibility? How can I ensure my kids are safe? Am I over-reacting? 

Fight or flight is real. I now realize when the shit hits the fan I just want to run. Where can we go to get away from it all? Could I convince PapaBird to pack everything up and move to New Zealand? Unlikely and they've closed the borders. 

Hmm is this covid or turning 40 this year? Time to start over-thinking everything. 

So dear readers, the 4 of you, I apologize this blog is going to lack focus for the next year as I try to figure things out. But then again, did it ever really have focus? I need to continue figuring out what is my best life, if I'm brave enough or if I even want to, make a leap. Is it possible to find your best life amidst a pandemic when things are so limited? I really hope so, because it doesn't look like it's going away any time soon. And if I can do that I feel like I'll be winning at life as it'll really make me focus on the simple things. 


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